So this week, I went to go see Batman: The Dark Knight, because I am a conformist who easily succumbs to peer pressure. Also, I desperately wanted a hot dog that night, and when I was told that I could get one AND a drink for the mere price of 2.00 (at a THEATRE!) because a friend worked there…well. I was sold. Note that I don’t actually know anything about Batman, and that I haven’t seen any other Batman movie. So I might be wrong here but…
The movie was fucking ace.
Despite the fact that Batman sounds like a heavy smoker named Barbara, all of the acting was fantastic. I’m not one to be into super hero movies, because they make me think of movies based on video games (oho, what’s this? We just had an article related to this? Really?) I feel a little bit like the producers are trying to rip me off, taking something I enjoy and making it into a flashy, high end film with the hottest actors that their budgets can manage. And usually COMPLETELY lacking whatever it was that made the original product so great. Never the less, I did like Ironman, so I figured I’d give this baby a shot.
The movie was like 458420 hours long, so I won’t try and write out a summary for you. Just some key points:
1. Bruce Wayne’s whole “playboy” thing was blown a little bit out of proportion, but somehow, it worked.
2. People are calling for an oscar for Heath Ledger, and he did an amazing job. I don’t think the oscar is going to happen but…Jesus Christ. The guy WAS the Joker. There’s no way you could tie this guy:
And this guy:
Insane. But there’s going to be a shitload of biases in all directions. The fans will want Heath Ledger to get an oscar because he’s dead, the voters won’t want that because…well, because he’s dead. And they probably don’t want to give the impression that death = oscar. Does he deserve an oscar? Who knows?
3. The moment leading up to Two Face…c’mon, I don’t follow batman, and even I was excited. The wait was fun.
4. The Joker apparently has no real backstory, according to my thorough research (aka browsing wikipedia at work). There’s something about him falling into a vat of chemicals or something or other, but basically, they keep the whole “WHOO MYSTERY” theme pretty well. In this movie, he has those scars on the side of the face, which seems absent from the comics, but which reminds me of Kuchisake Onna, so that’s always good.
5. Fuck Microsoft Office for closing and losing the rest of this article.
6. There were a bunch of really random cameos, one of them being Anthony Michael Hall. (That Dead Zone guy?!).
7. Morgan Freeman is always a winner in my books.
8. For those who have already seen this movie: The pencil trick was badass.
9. WTF, seriously, Batman’s girlfriend is a total whore.
So, for those of you who haven’t yet gone, go see it. The music is great, the action is really …action packed, and Heath Ledger does a magic trick. No, really. He makes a pencil VANISH. Don’t spoil it for yourself online though; those videos are poor quality and REALLY, REALLY don’t pack the same punch. You have to watch it in context, and you’ll be pleased that you did.
Why So Serious?: 9.5/10 teacups. Yeeaaaaah.
